bumperrrrrr to bumperrrrr

I am now on vacation up North of the Philippines. Again, for the sake of anonymity, I will not divulge outright where I am exactly but based on the title for this entry, I have a feeling you'll get where I am.

I completely cannot understand what the natives of this town are saying when they use their dialect. But the trilling Rs are about to get into my nerves.

Things I've noticed, been feeling, going through while here:

• Old people always have to have the last say. Especially the elder woman I'm rooming in with in this ancestral house. She notices everything! She always has a say. My father-in-law doesn't exercise much! My uncle-in-law doesn't feed his daughter well enough. My cousin-in-law is a braggart who doesn't have anything to show for it (on this aspect, I agree with her. this is for another entry though). What the fuck, even my SOCIAL drinking extracts a comment from her! We were drinking some beer at the house and I had to pee. I passed by her on my way to the bathroom. She verified if I was drinking. I just finished my 5th bottle and was planning to have 5 more but I told her I was just drinking one. She then gave me a brief but irritating commentary that the reason why I couldn't get pregnant again was because of my drinking. WTF??? The reason I was not getting pregnant was because I DIDN'T WANT TO BE PREGNANT. I wanted to tell her that the MAIN factor in getting pregnant was for a guy to ejaculate inside a woman and have a sperm successfully penetrate the ovum (or whatever) and merge with the female's egg - or something like that.

Instead, I just proceeded to the bathroom after which continued with my beers.

• I want to strangle my niece.
  

• Men fall for women who give them an audience. If a married man starts talking about himself and you pay close attention to whatever he's saying (no matter how boring or obviously fabricated or exaggerated from the truth) and you like him, make way for your "the-other-woman" career.

• Some people really want to hear themselves talk. One person went on and on talking to me about her love life which was not interesting to me. After 15 minutes of non-stop talking from her and complete silence from me and only occasional listening gestures, I excused myself, told her I'd just go the bathroom to pee, and never came back.

• I need another vacation to revive myself after this vacation.