correction

Providers in oDesk are those providing the service. For example: I am the Provider therefore I am the one looking for an online job.

Just so you know :)

Tsk!

Tadaaaa! I'm back from a long hiatus from blog writing. I didn't go on an out of town vacation or was insanely swamped with work. I dunno. I guess I just ran out of ideas to rant and rave about.

But I'm back and a writing I will do.

First thing to share: I have been trying to apply for numerous writing jobs in Odesk. Are you familiar with the site? You just open an account with Odesk.com, create your profile and start applying and submitting your cover letters to various providers. Providers, I'm thinking, is Odesk lingo for Employers.

I've taken and passed some tests to prove that my skills do exist and that they ARE mine. I have uploaded some articles I've written and posted this blog. I have been getting some schedules for interview but unfortunately I'm always turned down for some other applicant.

I am frustrated. This can really be frustrating!!!

My friend told me that I might have to fabricate some details on my profile but I'm not really up to that kind of thing. I am a firm believer that everyone will get their come uppance eventually. So, I'm passing with the fibbing.

The openings I usually apply for ask for articles to be written..mostly blog entries. I know I can (c'mon Elmo! Say it with me: I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!). Alas! I don't think and I don't know why the providers just won't give me any chance!

Anyway, mellow me just appreciates the 2 opportunities (and bitter false hope) given to me to be granted an interview. Interviews which eventually led to emails stating: CANDIDACY ENDED.

Grrrrrrrr!!!

I know I can! I know I can! I know I can!

Things I don't expect...

Here are some things I don't expect my husband to give or do for me anymore:

#1. Bring me a big bouquet of flowers.

I have hoped against all hope that in an anniversary or birthday of mine, he would surprise me with a bunch...but he remains consistent...he never fails to disappoint.

#2. Bring me to an expensive and ROMANTIC dinner.

To be fair with him, he has paid for an expensive dinner but it sure was not romantic. It was expensive because the whole family was always there. I WANT ROMANCE! I WANT TO BE WOOED!!!

#3. Give me a gift that's prettily gift-wrapped.

Instead, he gives me cash and tells me to buy whatever I fancy. He didn't want to go wrong. Practical, isn't he?

#4. Check us in a motel.

Call me kinky or for him impractical (Why check in a room when we have our own room in the house for free?) but I want to try something new. Guess, it's never gonna happen.

Procrastination

I'm going to my mom's hometown right now. After this entry, I'm going home, pack my things and take a 4 hour bus ride.

My mom hates me, or maybe hated me for some time. Apparently, death changes things. Or maybe it's the deep need to be provided for - I dunno. My grandpa just died. I wasn't sure if I would go to his funeral and burial but when my sister called and practically forced me to go there, I said I would. I didn't want to go there thinking my mom hated me still and expecting that she'd make a fuss out of ignoring me in front of her friends. Or maybe she won't ignore me. Maybe she'd go out of her way to introduce me to her high school friends and say: "Ay, ito nga pala ang magaling kong anak na napakawalang hiya, walang kwenta at walang utang na loob." I'd prefer to stay at work and nod endlessly during a useless one-on-one meeting which always goes nowhere.

My sister told me that she informed our mom I'd be going there for the funeral and burial. Suprisingly, she said okay. Maybe she was too tired to react violently. Maybe she was too tired, the message didn't properly register in her brain. Maybe, it was really just okay. I'll find out soon.

I was supposed to leave earlier but couldn't muster the courage to tell me boss my grandpa died and can I please be excused for the rest of the afternoon while I attend to my family. I think it's because I was never that close with my grandpa. Had I been, to hell with asking permission! But, again, I wasn't.

And so, instead of rushing home to prep, here I am still writing on my blog. Bad cheetah.

bumperrrrrr to bumperrrrr

I am now on vacation up North of the Philippines. Again, for the sake of anonymity, I will not divulge outright where I am exactly but based on the title for this entry, I have a feeling you'll get where I am.

I completely cannot understand what the natives of this town are saying when they use their dialect. But the trilling Rs are about to get into my nerves.

Things I've noticed, been feeling, going through while here:

• Old people always have to have the last say. Especially the elder woman I'm rooming in with in this ancestral house. She notices everything! She always has a say. My father-in-law doesn't exercise much! My uncle-in-law doesn't feed his daughter well enough. My cousin-in-law is a braggart who doesn't have anything to show for it (on this aspect, I agree with her. this is for another entry though). What the fuck, even my SOCIAL drinking extracts a comment from her! We were drinking some beer at the house and I had to pee. I passed by her on my way to the bathroom. She verified if I was drinking. I just finished my 5th bottle and was planning to have 5 more but I told her I was just drinking one. She then gave me a brief but irritating commentary that the reason why I couldn't get pregnant again was because of my drinking. WTF??? The reason I was not getting pregnant was because I DIDN'T WANT TO BE PREGNANT. I wanted to tell her that the MAIN factor in getting pregnant was for a guy to ejaculate inside a woman and have a sperm successfully penetrate the ovum (or whatever) and merge with the female's egg - or something like that.

Instead, I just proceeded to the bathroom after which continued with my beers.

• I want to strangle my niece.
  

• Men fall for women who give them an audience. If a married man starts talking about himself and you pay close attention to whatever he's saying (no matter how boring or obviously fabricated or exaggerated from the truth) and you like him, make way for your "the-other-woman" career.

• Some people really want to hear themselves talk. One person went on and on talking to me about her love life which was not interesting to me. After 15 minutes of non-stop talking from her and complete silence from me and only occasional listening gestures, I excused myself, told her I'd just go the bathroom to pee, and never came back.

• I need another vacation to revive myself after this vacation.
  

requiems

When I die soon please take care of my husband. If I die anytime soon, within a couple of years, my husband will lose it. So, please, when I die, take care of him. At least, before I get buried, during my funeral, before my funeral, while he's waiting for the hospital to discharge me from the morgue. I need you to be there to support him a few minutes after I die. Don't worry, you'll know, itetext ko kayo. Pwede kayo ang maging event coordinator ng funeral, burial, and after funeral party ko? Di talga kakayanin ng asawa ko. I'm sure hinde pa sya handa at hinde ko ine-expect na magcacanvass sya ng presyo at design ng ataul, rates ng lupa sa mga memorial, at iba't ibang flower arrangements habang humahagulgul at bumubuhos ang uhog nya. Please, alalayan nyo sya.

Pagnamatay ako in the middle of a shoot-out or crossfire between criminals and policemen, bantayan nyo asawa ko. Pigilan nyo sya. Sabi nya, pag yun daw ang ikamatay ko, sasali sya sa sparrow unit ng NPA. Pakiconvince sya na magiging kawawa ang mga anak namin. Pag di nyo sya napigilan, pakialagaan na lang ang mga anak ko.

Anyway, dahil nga kayo na ang magiging funeral planners ko, pakirelay na lang ang mga requests na ito sa asawa ko:

1. Kung hinde naman magiging mahal masyado ang cost, gusto ko magpacremate. Please make absolutely sure na hinde na ako humihinga bago nyo ako sunugin.

2. Kung hinde ma-afford ng nagngangawa kong asawa ang ipacremate ako, don't open my casket. Close casket please. I don't want people to remember me dead. Pagawa lang kayo ng malaking tarp (3x5) ng solo picture ko tapos ipaskil nyo sa taas ng kabaong ko. Utang na loob, pumili naman kayo ng picture ko na maayos. Kung wala talaga, ipa-edit nyo ng konte. Pero wag nyo ipa-alis ang eyebags ko. Mawawala ang identity ko (wahehehe!)

3. Gusto ko 4 days ang lamay.

4. Ayoko ng mga korona ng bulaklak. Hinde ko man maamoy ang masangsang na amoy ng nabubulok na mga mamahaling bulaklak na bigay ng mga kaibigan, ayokong maalala ng mga bibisita ang pagkamatay ko in relation with the "smell of death".

Pakisabi na lang sa nagmamagandang loob na cash na lang ibigay nila. So, kapag naginform kayo sa mga kakilala ko na patay ako, pakisingit na rin na WAG NA WAG SILANG MAGBIGAY OR MAGPADALA NG MGA BULAKLAK NA KORONA. Pwede rin pagkain na lang (na sila rin naman ang kakain). O kaya balloons. Para magmukhang birthday party ang lamay.

...to be continued...

I like!

What little readers this blog of mine may have may regard me as a bitter, loathing, whining person. I would like to change that regard of me. For this entry, I would like to talk about pleasant things. Contrary to popular belief, I am a very optimistic person. I am a member of the Carebears, counting down with them up above the clouds with a rainbow coming out my tummy whenever dilemma comes.

I do like a number of things. I like reading books. I'm not very picky with the genres but most likely, I wouldn't be reading it if everyone is at the moment. Don't ask, I can't explain.

I like babies. Until they grow up years after and become whining, tantrum freak brats. Afterwhich, I like torturing them, telling them their parents died in a plane crash when they start noticing their parents have left them to me to babysit.

I like it when it rains. I like staying under the covers, watching a nice movie, and dozing off eventually, then waking up to the credits of the film rolling up. I like it but I become a ranting bitch when I have to go out unwillingly and have no choice but to get wet.

I like money. Believe me, I do.

I like laughing until my jaws lock and I get spasms in my abdomen.

So, you see? I like a lot of things.

I would also like to gracefully finish this entry but no there are no means that hit me now. So i just end it...like this.